Celebrating Ramadan as a Non Muslim

What is Ramadan?

What is Ramadan? You might hear it mentioned in your work spaces. Perhaps on television, in the news or on a TV show. Maybe in passing or discussing with a Muslim friend. In case none of those apply or you’re not really sure what Ramadan is, I think defining it is the best place to start. 

Ramadan is the 9th month of the Islamic calendar and is one of the 5 Pillars of Islam which are the foundations of the Islamic faith. 

Muslims believe it to be a holy month which requires fasting from dawn to sunset. No food or drink is permissible (except for few exceptions). Time is spent in prayer, reflection and reading of the Quran. 

Muslims believe the Quran was revealed by God to Prophet Muhammad during the month of Ramadan. Hence the compulsory significance of the month. Further, fasting is a part of worship during Ramadan with the purpose of strengthening spirituality, fostering self-discipline and closeness to Allah, and encouraging empathy for those less fortunate.

My Spiritual Journey 

During my marriage to my ex-husband who is a devout Muslim, I was also a practicing Muslim and as parents do, helped to raise our children according to our belief system.  

Following a very traumatic event and time in my life, my dark night of the soul to be sure, I found myself in a state where I’d become deeply religious and ritualistic, however I felt I’d lost my spirituality and connection to Source (God). What a life changing and profound revelation for me! 

From a child (raised in Christianity, Pentecostal denomination) I’d always felt such a strong and personal connection to Source. I should mention that while my personal relationship with God was always present growing up, it was undoubtedly my own absence from the influence of my religious upbringing. Much like a best friend that I trusted and spoke with all the time and in my own way.

Journeying through a dark night of the soul is such a hurtful, confusing, but eventually liberating time in life. I hope I only have one. This period in my life was triggered by the loss of a child. I knew I needed to get back to that connection I’d always had by any means necessary.  Back to my friend. I came to believe what appeared to be a senseless loss, had a divine purpose in my life. And so I released all that I knew and began feeling my way back.  

While I do not practice Islam or any of the Abrahamic religions,  I have never felt closer to Source than I do at this time in my life and can respect any way others make that connection for themselves. 

I believe the beauty and truth in our spirituality doesn’t necessarily have a label for all of us. 

My Muslim Children

My children, however, are Muslim, observe the month of Ramadan and continue to practice in such a beautiful way. In fact, they have such a love for their religion and for me and my lack of one.

As Ramadan greets us this year, I’m led to share how blended we are as a family. 

They come from a paternal grandfather who is atheist. A maternal grandmother who is a pastor of a well known Christian church in our area. A father who is Muslim, a mother who is …for all intents and purposes, a modern day hippie.  I do love my crystals! 🙂 And an extended family who is a mash up of all of the above.  

While they have their own beautiful beliefs and practices, people can have many other beliefs and practices that differ from their own. And still love each other fiercely.  I think this is one of the most important lessons they’re learning. I love that about the diversity within our family and how my children carry that lesson with them out into the world.

Celebrating Ramadan as a Non Muslim

I recall and understand all that celebrating this month, this Pillar of Islam, entails. I feel joy, pride and admiration as my children look forward to Ramadan and challenge themselves to observe it correctly. 

Mostly, I admire the way they are open to sharing it with others. For example, having open dialogue with anyone who asks about it or even inviting people to Iftar at times.

Supporting them looks like helping them wake for Suhoor, being with each other during the day (especially since the pandemic) as they read Quran, and having Iftar together in the evenings. It looks like ensuring they have the foods they love for Suhoor, respecting their fast during the day and preparing Iftar together in the evening. It looks like teaching them its their right to take up space in this way as they observe this pillar of their beliefs.

I decided to decorate our home for them this year. Although this is only the first week of Ramadan, I’m excited for their Eid Al-Fitr to celebrate the end month. A large community prayer is held, feasts, festivals with rides and activities for children in some communities, and giving of gifts. I do Iove to give gifts! 🙂 

I am grateful they have their faith and the freedom to express it and celebrate it in these ways. At home with me, at home with their Dad and in community. 

For all who celebrate: Ramadan Mubarak/Ramadan Kareem 🌙  from my family to yours.